The Great Poosplosion(s) {or, alternately} How Parenthood Hardens You into a Diamond-Armored Tungsten-Carbide Filled Shadow of What you Once Were

We just got back from Debba's house. While we were there, we aired up the pool, and Auri had fun swimming, clothing and diaper-free, naked as a jaybird.

(If you don't like reading about poosplosions, stop reading now. If you don't want to read it all, just view my drawings to sum things up.)

On Sunday, we were out doing our pool thing: Me sitting there, baking in the Texas heat, clinging to my cup of ice water for dear life while she splashed in the pool. I was vaguely aware of her getting out of the pool, and wandering down the sidewalk a ways. I kept her in my peripheral, but not *really* watching closely as she squatted to look at something on the ground.

I became very aware, however, when Debba exclaimed "Auri just pooped!" Sure enough, where she had been squatting before, there now sat a big mound of poo. She walked a few steps, and then sat down again, leaving another nice skid mark on the concrete.

We sprang into action. I grabbed the hose and sprayed her off, while Debba scooped the poop. Meanwhile, as we were scrubbing and rinsing, and laughing about our situation, Auri had wandered into Buddy's workshop. I gave her a couple golf balls to entertain herself with, and she seemed pretty happy.

 However, when I came back in to check on her, she had pooped an even bigger pile in the middle of the rug, dipped a golf ball into it, rolled that all over the ground, rubbed it all over her little stinky body, and just had fun with it in general.

I snatched the poopy child up, and went back outside to hose her off again, to find (to my dismay) that someone had turned the hose off. Somehow I finally cleaned her off (she was pretty upset at me at this point) and we showed her how the poop goes in the potty. At some point, while we were in the workshop bathroom, Buddy walked into the shop, said "What's this all over my golf ball?" while stooping over and picking up said golf ball. *sigh*

*Edit* So, I was planning on ending the post here. I had proofread it, and it was sitting there, waiting to be submitted when I heard Auri wake up over the monitor. What follows is an account of the second pootastrophe.


Auri woke up, I got her a snack and some water. I was sitting on the couch, reading a book, when I heard a familiar grunt. I looked up, and saw the look. The I-am-pooping-my-pants-while-standing-right-in-front-of-you look. At that moment, I had a brilliant idea! "Auri!" I said. "Auri! Let's go poopoo on the potty!" I scooped her up, ran to the bathroom, set her on the toilet, and tried to unfasten her diaper. Too late. She had already done it. "Oh well! We'll just spray you off in the shower!"

So I put her in the tub and decided to use a wipe to get the extra goo off (who wants poop particles clogging up the shower drain? No one, that's who). While I was wiping, I felt something warm fill the wipe. She had just pooped into my wipe, in my hand. Yum. So I stuck that into the diaper too. Turned around, and found her prodding yet another mound that she had deposited in the bottom of the tub.



This is getting ridiculous. I think I will wait a few more months (or do a little more research) before I try to "potty-train" her.

Auri, after her middle of the day poop bath.

Summer So Far

Summer thus far has been hot and dry but fun! A typical day goes like this: Wake up around 7 or 7:30, feed ourselves, then go on a run. Jason takes a shower, packs his lunch, and heads to work around 10. Auri and I hang out around the house or run errands. She naps from around 11:30 to 1:30, so I have a bit of time to myself. Then, when Jason gets home around 5, we go do something fun, like go to the park or the pool. Then Auri is off to bed by 7:30, and then we play video games, watch tv, or read books together. A pretty sweet life.

Last week, we were down in Port Alto for the Big Browning Bayhouse Bash. We had a lot of fun in the old family bayhouse. Auri got to spend a lot of good time hanging out with her cousins. She and Charlotte seemed to hit it off, and Charlotte *loved* Jason. They played ninja and we built forts. Jason, Daniel, Joe, Dad, and I got to go floundering one night, and we caught three flounder and ate them the next day. I wasn't *so* excited about eating something that hides in the mud its whole life, but whatever. Also, another day we went to Kemah boardwalk. We rode the train, and Auri and I got to ride the carousel. You'd think she would love it, since she's into horses right now, but no. She cried and was trying to climb off the horse and into my arms the whole time. Joe, Daniel, Jason and I rode the roller coaster there. It was wooden. It was painful. I was sore the next day. But it was fun! I definitely prefer metal roller coasters though. Then we went and ate at the Aquarium. It has a huge aquarium as the main centerpiece in the dining room. Also, downstairs, there are more aquariums and a sting ray tank. We bought the sting ray food (raw shrimp), and we fed the sting rays. Actually, Jason did. I started to, and freaked out as its huge mouth started coming at me. I did pet it though!

Speaking of aquariums, since our goldfish died, I decided to freshen up our fish tank with fresh water, light, and fish. Auri and I went to Petco. yesterday and picked out some fish (mollies). We named them Farfalle, Penne, and Tortellini. Let me tell you. Tortellini is fat.

This morning, fat Tortellini was sitting on the bottom of the tank, seemingly gasping for air, lilting to one side, and pretty much looking like it was about to die. I thought "Oh great. I bought a dying fish. I can't watch this." So I turned the light off and ignored it. About an hour later, I came back to check on it, and there was a little black bulge coming out the fishes back end. Also, fat Tortellini wasn't so fat anymore, and there was little baby fish all around! Tortellini didn't have dropsy, or fish bloat, or anything of the other horrible diseases I was reading about this morning... she was pregnant!

 That's the good news. The bad news is that the other fish are following her around like she's pooping out gold bricks. I need to get one of those little nursery things... basically a plastic divider to protect the baby fish. For now, I found this thing you put in the shower drain to keep the hair from clogging the drain, and it has little holes. While I was taking pictures, Farfalle tried to eat a baby, and I couldn't watch anymore. So, best case scenario: I get some more free fish. If not, at least Tortellini isn't dead.

A funny story to leave with:

Yesterday, I was feeding Auri lunch while I was reading a book. She likes deli meat, so I take some turkey, rip it into chunks, and put it on her tray. She was happily eating her turkey and playing with her duplo blocks while I read, so it was a pretty good deal. When I would look up, she had eaten all the turkey on her tray, so I put her some more. She was eating *a lot* of it. Once she decided she was done, I took her out of her tray,  and was going to stack the blocks, when something in the block caught my eye. A little piece of turkey was stuffed down into the hole. Upon further inspection, there was some turkey stuffed into each hole in several of the blocks. I have a very industrious little stinker.

Laziness

I don't know why, maybe it's the heat of the summer, or not wanting to do anything after vacation, but I have been plagued with extreme laziness. I don't feel like typing out the rest of our vacation story, but I know I'll regret it if I don't! Also, the house has gone to pits. No matter how much I tidy or clean, the clutter overwhelms me, or Auri comes along behind me and undoes everything, and I just sign it off for later. In fact, we just today dumped our goldfish in the toilet, and it died a week ago (I know it's gross).

I think one of the problems is that we keep going out of town on the weekends, and that's when I do the bulk of my cleaning, because Jason is home and can distract Auri while I get stuff done. Now it just doesn't get done.



Last weekend was Memorial day weekend, so we went up to the lake, and it was just the Knight family. We had so much fun with Bryan and Laura, Bot had so much fun with little Peebs, and Auri had so much fun with Debba and Bupa! It was a win, win, win situation (Oh poor Deogee). It felt great to just lay around in lounge chairs in the sun. Unfortunately the boat died on its first sunset voyage, so we didn't get to enjoy the boat very much, but it was so windy and so choppy from all the other boats that it's probably just as well.

This weekend, we're going to down to the Bayhouse for the first annual Browning Bayhouse Bash! Very excited about seeing everybody! It'll definitely be interesting seeing as the main part of the house is one big sleeping area. It's good we all like each other, because we're going to be very close all the time :) I can't wait to see Bixby and Charlotte (and D&J of course). Last time I saw Miss B, she was just a wiggly newborn, and now she's almost 9 months old?? Can't believe it. Also can't wait to see what Auri does with another baby around. It's one thing to look at pictures, but completely different when she's right in front of you.

Anyways, going to take advantage of my precious Auri-napping time!

Europe (Part 1)

First of all, it feels great to be back home. I missed my Auri terribly (not to mention my bed, my washing machine, and my fridge full of cheap food. Oh, and my lungs not filled with second-hand smoke).

That being said, we had an amazing time! I'm so glad we finally got around to it, and it was definitely worth every penny (except, maybe, for the many pennies that taxi drivers jipped us out of). If anything, one of the most valuable parts of our vacation was the newfound appreciation we have for our relaxed days at home. I'm still exhausted from the trip!

I think our first problem was that we started out the trip already tired. We got about one or two hours of sleep on the nine hour red-eye flight to London. Arriving in Heathrow at 7:30 Saturday morning, during a 9 hour layover, we were quickly introduced to the world of foreign currency, automatic ticket machines, and public transportation. After a few failed attempts, we finally managed to purchase two day passes for the London tube system, and away we went. I'm sure we looked pretty goofy at how impressed with we were with the tube stations, and trains, and all of that. When we arrived in London, we were greeted with unseasonably warm, sunny weather. We were tricked into wearing fewer layers than we should have, because the clouds quickly moved in, covered the sun, and took away all the warmth. Even so, we had a great time in London. We saw most of the necessary sights, including Buckingham palace, Westminster Abby, Houses of Parliament, Trafalgar square, etc. It was a wonderful practice run, because they still speak English in England, and if we got completely confused, we could at least talk to someone for help. We then caught our connecting flight to Barcelona.

{I'm getting tired, and will post more later!}

Final Countdown

The week is here! I can count down the number of days until we leave on one hand. The documents are are printed, stapled, and tucked away in a tidy little folder. The suitcases are begging to be filled (but I won't let myself until Thursday... okay, maybe Wednesday). Jason is officially done with his killer class. I still have loads of laundry to do, and plan on cleaning the house so we don't come back to a dump, but I'm sure that'll get done on its own.

The only real thing left for me to do is play with my sweet little Auri, read her all of her books over and over again, and blow thousands of bubbles for her. I'm going to miss that kiddo like crazy! But I know she'll be in good hands. She is enamored with both of her grandmas, so I'm not too worried that she'll really miss us at all. She never wants anything to do with me the moment she sees Oma or Debba. Though, I think this week, she is establishing herself as a one-nap-a-day baby... sorry guys!




Our itinerary for Europe is pretty loose. Rather than any planned excursions or activities, I think we're just going to wander, soak up the culture and just get lost in it. Maybe we'll find some cool stuff to do on the way. Either way, I'm so excited!

Rantings from a sleepy brain

I hate coming up with a title for each of my blog posts. Especially if I don't have a specific topic. Also, it's hard to coming up with good ideas after three glasses of wine. I think the really good ideas start flowing at around four glasses, but since I want to be semi-lucid tomorrow, I'll just settle with bad ideas.

Jason's off riding his bike in Dallas somewhere. I don't really know anything about it except that I'm at home watching the baby and three dogs. The day time is hard, but it's actually kind of nice at night. When he's here, I have to stop at one glass of wine, because I get "too sleepy" with more than that. So what! I'm going to bed at ten, and I will get 9 hours of sleep, and it will be amazing. All that being said, it is rather quiet, and I've triple checked to make sure the doors are deadbolted. I might let Otter sleep in the living room by the front door instead of locking her in her crate tonight.

We had a great time over Easter. Auri had fun hunting her 5 eggs (that was all her attention span allowed for). Other than her busting my lip with a rocking chair, which resulted in a huge, yet-to-heal ulcer on the inside of my mouth, we had a lot of fun.

In two weeks, we'll be on an airplane, desperate to get off (or dreaming peacefully on sleeping pills). I've been printing out documents, organizing our schedule, and trying to figure out exactly *what* we're going to do once we actually get there. So far, no real plans. We have luggage now, and money pouches, and electrical outlet adapters, so I think we're logistically set for travel! Very excited :)

I still plan to go on my morning run, which I've been very good about. Auri and Otter both enjoy it, and I'm already seeing results. Just wait until the temperature gets above 85 in the morning, and I'm sure it will taper off quickly.

11 minutes until bed time!

Heart Attack version 2.0

So, about half an hour ago, I was doing some much needed damage control to the piles of clothes growing in both my room and Auri's room, while Auri happily and quietly hung out in the book corner, sorting through and 'reading' her books to herself.

A little while later, I noticed that she was being *very* quiet. In fact, it was so quiet, the windchimes outside sounded much louder than usual. At that point, I put two and two together, panicked, and ran out into the hallway to see the front door wide open and Auri nowhere to be seen. I sprinted outside, and found Auri had dragged her blankie outside, and was playing in our driveway between the two cars parked there.  I scooped her up, and she's now playing on the floor right in front of me, with both the front and back door locked tightly.

We have a problem with our front door. When it's humid, it sometimes doesn't latch all the way if you don't slam it, and when it's windy, the wind blows the unlatched door open. Today, is it humid, and windy, and that's how my baby escaped. You hear those stories of people finding babies just hanging out in the middle of the street, and think "How could their parents have let that happen?" I was right there with you, but then I became one of those parents. I can now say, it's pretty easy for that to happen, really quickly. I will definitely be more alert when she gets too quiet.

In other, less heart-stopping news, we signed a lease for our new house in August! It's a big 3/2 off of Deacon, in a more family neighborhood than we're in right now. It's got a huge backyard, and a 2 car garage. Unfortunately, Jason wasn't able to see it with me, so he doesn't actually know what our new house looks like on the inside. The reason is: When I went to view it with the Realtor, she was showing it to two other groups of people that also seemed interested, so I snatched up an application, and turned it in about two hours later. While we were there filling out more paperwork, our agent answered the phone, and was like "No I'm sorry, that property is no longer available as of now". So, we were cutting it close, but I beat them to the finish line. Ha! So looking forward to our new home :)

Google street view of our new house

Satellite view of house